Turning the tables on domestic violence

The story of Goong Mouey, a beneficiary of our Consoling Through Counseling project in 2010, highlights just how far a small amount can go to help women suffering from domestic violence.

Mouey may have survived decades of war and genocide in Cambodia, but she didn’t emerge unscathed.  The Khmer Rouge completely shut down the public education system in the late 1970s, and 90 percent of all teachers were summarily executed.  Mouey is a part of an entire generation of women to grow up completely illiterate, and with little to no economic opportunity.

Mouey now holds the purse strings - and the power - in her homeMouey is representative of the roughly 30 percent of Cambodian women that suffer from regular domestic violence.  Escaping her abusive, alcoholic husband and unable to provide for her five young children, she turned the children over to an orphanage for two years.  “This was especially painful for me,” she shares, “but I had run out of options.”

Since coming into contact with the Dining for Women-supported counseling and reintegration program, the tables have turned for Mouey.  After spending some time at a safe shelter, Mouey received $20 in start-up support along with a $120 small business grant and now runs a highly successful vegetable grocery business near Poipet city.  Her business allows her to earn about $50 per day—over 20 times the per capita income in Cambodia—and she has since been able to resume caring for her children.

“I did have a small vegetable stall earlier but it was not enough to live on.  The grant allowed me to offer five times as much variety and volume,” Mouey shares.  “Now I can afford pretty much whatever the children need to be well nourished.”  Mouey’s 16 year-old daughter, Srey Mom, pipes in as well: “Previously I didn’t have the money I needed to pay for school tuition or buy food and medicine, and now we do.”

Divorce carries an onerous social stigma in Cambodian society. When Mouey's husband came skulking back to a vastly improved financial situation, she opted to try again.  This time, however, the physical abuse has ended.  “I control the money in the family now,” Mouey tells us. “Though he is verbally aggressive, he no longer hits me.”  Recognizing the cultural factors working against sufferers of domestic violence in Cambodia, Lotus Outreach hopes to implement men’s anger management courses in the near future to give women who do return to abusive marriages the very best chance at a safe, healthy life.

With a $39,000 grant this year from Dining for Women, Lotus Outreach will help dozens of families like Mouey’s get back on their feet through shelter assistance, start-up financial support, vocational training and small business grants.

Sewing compassion in Cambodia's countryside

Reenacting domestic violence

A travel report by Stefan Habermeier

Rithy is angry. Angry about the daily life in poverty, angry about the low payment as a day laborer in the fields of the neighboring Thailand, and above all, he is angry because - no matter how he makes an effort - nothing can change his situation. One day when his wife asks him for money for new pens for the children, he goes ballistic. Rithy picks up a bottle of homemade liquor – in which he drowned his frustration for months - and strikes. His wife falls to the ground.

This situation, which a youth group in a small village near the Thai border performs in a play, occurs regularly across Cambodia. Whether physical violence or sexual abuse, violations against women and girls are manifold. Once a victim, there is hardly a way to get back to a normal life, especially if you believe this Cambodian saying: Women are like a piece of white cloth: once stained always stained.

About 40 percent of the country's female population are affected by violence against women. Look to Cambodia’s recent history for answers: The reign of terror of the Khmer Rouge not only destroyed infrastructure but also the entire economic, health and education system. Even 20 years after the signing of peace treaties, the majority of Cambodian women, especially in rural areas, still have no access to these vital resources. The subsequent lack of financial resources and a low self-esteem makes them vulnerable to violence, exploitation and abuse.

To learn more, this May I visited the Cambodian Women's Crisis Center (CWCC), an NGO which aims to reduce violence against women and a long-time partner of Lotus Outreach International. Abused women and girls get sustainable long-term protection in shelters, as well as psychological and legal counseling, and medical assistance. The overall goal is the successful reintegration of victims back into the community through vocational qualification, basic business skills and financial support. From 2005 to 2009, the organization has helped approximately 6,000 women and girls.

Cambodian women

I am delighted to report that the safe shelter and the reintegration of clients back into society are running very well. Thanks to financial support (by Lotus Outreach International, the German Georg Kraus Foundation and Terre des Hommes Netherlands) these measures have become an outstanding component in the vast landscape of aid and development projects in Cambodia.

To whom I ever talked, the affected people in Cambodia are eternally grateful for the work of the Cambodian Women´s Crisis Center, the international sponsors and the commitment of the various foundation ambassadors. This can be recognized at the smiles on their faces and above all on their eyes shining with happiness. A sign of true happiness - from deep in their hearts.

LO's Executive Director Presents at DFW's Onancock Chapter

A visit in April from Lotus Outreach Executive Director Erika Keaveney breaks attendance and fundraising records

by Carolyn Mayers, chapter leader for Dining for Women Onancock, Virginia

We were thrilled to host Erika (and her sister-in-law Scarlett – more in a minute on that) at our April 28 meeting! Erika and I go WAY back. We first “met” when the Dining for Women Program Selection Committee was looking for a program to support that addresses the issues of human trafficking in SE Asia. I searched and luckily found Lotus Outreach, was completely captivated, and immediately contacted Erika back in November of 2009. After much hard work and patience, Lotus was April’s featured program, with chapters nationwide learning about and supporting their incredible work of providing critical aftercare to victims of human trafficking, rape and domestic violence residing at a safe shelter near the Thai-Cambodian border.

Founders of the Onancock chapter, Shannon, Carolyn, and Kitty

Fortunately for us, Erika’s sister-in-law, the aforementioned Scarlett, lives within driving distance of our chapter, and she was born at the end of April, the month and time of our meeting, giving Erika the perfect extra reason needed to fly out and present to our chapter here on the rural Eastern Shore or Virginia. What a meeting!! With a record 36 women in attendance, Erika blew us away with her wonderful Power Point presentation, which began with a clear, succinct history of Cambodia so we could better understand the extraordinarily difficult conditions under which many people, especially women, live in that country. Then we really got to experience the work of Lotus Outreach, the passion and dedication of the women we are so proud to support through our donations this month. Throughout the entire talk, it sometimes seemed as though Erika was fighting back tears, so deep is her passion about her work. She wasn’t the only one, it seems, because our generous members donated more than we have ever raised for a DFW program - $1,637! WOW!!

SO many women came up to me as the meeting was breaking up, after Erika had already left, to tell me what an inspiring young woman she is, and how nice and kind and smart and dedicated, and how moved they were by her visit with us. Erika came to us with the opinion that she has a lot to learn about public speaking. All the professional training in the world is no substitute for heartfelt passion expressed with sincerity. Don’t change a thing!

Erika and the Onancock chapter watch LO's short film

Dining for Women San Diego Raises Funds for Trafficking and VAW Victims in Cambodia

On May 7, 2011, Lotus Outreach and Dining for Women San Diego hosted a special fundraiser at the Pimento Fine Art Gallery in Little Italy, San Diego. The event featured Southeast Asian cuisine and as well as an exhibition of original works by San Diego artist, Jill Joy. Jill generously donated an original work of art for a raffle, as well as 100% of print sales that evening.

The event collectively raised over $800 to provide critical aftercare to victims of human trafficking, rape and domestic violence residing at a safe shelter near the Thai-Cambodian border. Aftercare services include trauma therapy, skills training, start-up financial assistance, small business grants and more. Funds raised at the event, for example, will provide 16 women with enough money to cover their rent, food and other expenses in their life beyond the shelter while they search for employment or get their business ventures underway.

A recent example of the impact of the reintegration project, Pich’s story underscores the degree of exploitation that women and girls face in Cambodia. A survivor of sex trafficking and torture, the project has given Pich the support and resources she needs to look forward to a new life.

To learn more about Dining for Women and the selected Lotus Outreach project, please click here.

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"Red Light" puts sexual slavery on display

By Rachel Curtis, Development Manager

This Thursday, LO’s executive director, Erika Keaveney, will present the horrors of child sexploitation and trafficking to the national chapter of Dining for Women, a philanthropic group that has selected our Consoling Through Counseling aftercare project as their featured initiative for April. Pictures will be powerful, and there is no shortage of statistics to convey the shocking reality faced by beneficiaries at our safe shelter in Sisophon, Cambodia: there are an estimated 100,000 prostitutes in Cambodia, 70,000 of whom were forced into the trade. Worse still, 40,000 of them are less than 16 years old.

While these figures send chills down one’s spine, short of traveling to Cambodia the grim universe to which these women and girls belong may still feel remote. This May and June, those who wish to get closer to the gritty realm of sexual slavery can do so via a heart-wrenching documentary called Red Light, which will be aired on Showtime.

Narrated by actress Lucy Liu, Red Light was filmed over the course of four years and follows two Nobel Peace Prize nominees, and several child slaves they hope to help. Cambodian parliament member Mu Sochua and former sex slave Somaly Mam navigate the treacherous innards of a country still reeling from the trauma of genocide, of a collective psyche that is battered and self-destructive. First-hand accounts of abuse and coercion are supplemented with footage smuggled from inside brothels, where young girls wear numbers and are shuffled before customers like cattle.

It is a long and heavy 72 minutes. But the bravery and indignation of girls like Srey Peuv, whose mother sold her to a brothel at the age of eight, and Reena, who rescued her younger sister from forced prostitution and marched relentlessly until she had - against all odds – the perpetrators put behind bars, are blinding points of light in the darkness.

These bright spots are the force behind Lotus Outreach. It is their courage and tenacity which inspire us to venture into the harshest, most desperate places we can find, knowing there is always something beautiful that can bloom from within.

Girls at our safe shelter in Sisophon